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All in

A few months ago I bought Sheryl Sandberg’s book “Lean In” for my wife, Sarah Jane, thinking she might enjoy this exhortation to women to pursue work, success, and the perpetually elusive work-life balance.

Her reaction was a bit surprising, but I expect, not unique.

“Lean In, that’s the title?” said Sarah Jane.

“Yes,” I said. “Smart, bold, empowering, right?”

“Lean in? I’m already all in!” shot back Sarah Jane.

Good point.

Now, Sandberg is an impressive individual. She’s a mother of two, the COO of Facebook, best-selling author, and also a billionaire.

And her life is not untouched by real adversity. She lost her husband, Dave Goldberg, to a sudden heart attack in 2015. He was 47.

Sarah Jane’s reaction to the imperative title of the book got me thinking. It was an excellent reminder that whether you choose to work outside of the home, from the home, or inside the home, if you’re juggling work, kids, a spouse and everything that goes along with those, that is a special calling that should be recognized, supported, and celebrated not just today, but every day.

Back at the non-billionaire Stevenson household, with four kids, ages 18, 16, 13 and 5, our home requires all of the executive skills that Sandberg so eloquently puts forth: ambition, drive, mentorship, confidence and partnership.

Here are five principles from “Lean In” (that I’ve slightly adapted) that can help women (anyone, really) own their life – inside the home, or outside the home – and achieve the success, recognition and happiness they deserve:

  1. Take more risks. Don’t worry about having perfectly developed skills in any field. Dive in, learn quickly, and contribute.
  2. Stop trying to please everyone. The desire to be liked is a good one, but it can hold you back. Step up, push back, and challenge decisions.
  3. It’s a jungle gym, not a ladder. “Ladders are limiting,” writes Sandberg. “Jungle gyms offer more creative exploration. There are many ways to get to the top of a jungle gym. The ability to forge a unique path with occasional dips, detours and even dead ends presents a better chance for fulfillment.”
  4. Allow yourself to daydream. Think long-term and short-term. Have a plan for growth. Explore new personal, professional and playful endeavors.
  5. Find peers for encouragement and accountability. Find others in similar situations where you can express hopes, dreams and fears in a safe space.

Thanks to all the women, wives and moms out there who lean in – who are all in – and are making big differences in the lives of their friends, families and communities every day.

Wishing all moms a very Happy Mother’s Day! Have a great week.

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